Monday, May 12, 2008

pas de deux

I have a tendency to dwell. It is peaceful when it is mindful and honest. However, my mind acts itself out--dwelling in succession--like a series of transportation transfers without any clear destination. Thinking about dreams, guilt, natures, satisfaction.

I found great pleasure tonight in washing my face. I took the time to lather my hands, turning off the tap so I could listen to the sound it made. Then I rubbed the blackish grey of the coal/licorice soap on my face, continually rubbing for minutes, trying to dwell on my skin pores, in their simplicity. I then put the hair dryer on cold setting and closed my eyes, drying my skin for at least one minute imagining I was at the ocean or driving in a car.

I have been snacking today on grapes, in bunches. I cut them in half with my tongue and then squeeze out the inner part with my fingers gently, eat that and then eat the skin.

I have a weird way of eating everything. When I eat Jelly Beans I scrape the coating off with my teeth all the way around and then suck the rest of the sugar coating off until it's completely clear, then I look at the jelly bean and eat it. I like to know that it's always just clear jelly, and the particular coating & color is just a factory made coincidence.

I like to wash my feet with Clean & Clear facial cleanser before I go to the bed sometimes. The scrubbing bubbles feel so amazing!

To dwell is to dwell forever, but to consider and learn is to understand.

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