sometimes this is all you need

spending some rainy hours listening to "take me to the mardi gras" and "give me the night" on repeat & then making my new favorite creation: the peanut butter & apple tortilla wrap. holy. crap.

most amazing/easy snack of my life
seriously make. it. right. now.



by the way.. good lord all I want is a portable tape player with speakers that has an input so I can play my ipod portably as well as my tape collection.

value village only seems to frequently carry used electronics dating past the mid to late 90s.. and all of that stuff is pretty much crap. I don't want to shell out $100 to buy a sweet deck. :(

I want to get stoned in the park and listen to my ipod/tapes/whatever

I wish VICTORIA had one of these:

middle of the road

k, so my blog is so boring...

i went to a wedding on the weekend in abbotsford. self-rightous whory overcrowded place christians vs. punjabis

fight to the YAWN

I got stoned with Dale's cousins, because I knew my way to the liquor store. I wish I took pictures. My head told me I couldn't because they were probably not going to be cool with it and would think I was weird. we found a quiet spot in a back alley and sat on the steps of an apartment building.

i also spent time with a wonderful friend from montreal. he is wonderful because he let me stay the night several times and we had good conversations.

every time I go to church or a wedding I realize how much it tries to suck people in emotionally in order to manipulate them into something.. it's like this forced distant obligation of the leaders to organize it. It reminds me of television producers or something.. and then afterwards just talking to people face to face is so awkward because I don't know if I should judge them or if they are judging me.

Actually I'm letting go of this a lot and trying to focus in on what is good for me, rather then what I want or what I can react to.

i don't knowwwwwwwwwwww
christians in these parts are just a club of people that help each other and I like that sometimes, but it makes me feel bad that I want to do whatever I want sometimes. but I feel guilty because being selfish has made me so unhappy...

i look at people that are OK and accept their limitations and I really want that.

holy shit fucked up uhghhhghhghhg

victoria

so far the new move to victoria has been a blessed adventure. I had a painting job for two days that I quit because I had to travel 3 hours to get to the work site, and my boss wouldn't drive me and made me take the bus. So now I'm working in a coffee shop, although I haven't started yet and I'm a little nervous.

I haven't made any friends yet, but it's given me the chance to just watch movies and explore downtown and all of that.

I am really hoping I find someone I can be in a relationship with. I have open eyes and an open heart even if it might get broken... I have never been in a relationship before with anyone, nor have I done anything sexually. I've been a shy boy, living in the library of my mind.

I took this picture yesterday morning of the view from my backyard. I live on a bluff that overlooks the ocean.